I always told my kids to beware of the greener grass on the other side of fence. It could be painted cement. And of course, some say it could be astro turf or that you are looking through jealousy (green) colored glasses. Then there are those who say the greener grass will need to be cut more often. Regardless of the message the meaning is the same — the other side of the fence is better.
I struggle with ‘greener grass’ envy. I see fellow writers on the Facebook posting their awesome word counts and think “gee, they must have weed free grass so they have more time to write.” Then I pop all the self-pity balloons and shove the ice cream back in the freeze because I know that isn’t the case.
The last week was horrible on a personal and professional level. I had NO grass growing on my side of the fence; actually, I was standing in a field of mud and cow crap. One of my kiddos was plagued with poor choice disease which affected my grass.
Then I took a two week writing course that instead of helping me made me question everything I do. The instructor didn’t personally attack me! But the way the material was presented and her belief that pantser cannot write a quality book released thousands of self-doubt demons in my mind that beat the snot out of my muse. Now if I wasn’t deal with my kiddo’s issues I would have most likely shrugged it off with my go-to saying. “If we all wrote the same then the reader would have Nora Roberts’ books to pick from.” (I like Nora Roberts and have tons of respect of her work so this is no means a slam).
Sooo not only was all my grass dead, I also didn’t fit into the writer cookie-cutter. Needless to say I had a full blown self-pity party with unlimited donuts (and there may have been vodka involved). Of course, once my tummy started to hurt from the donuts, I started to see the green shoots of grass pushing through the mud and crap.
As I write this I’m sitting on my porch listening to the spring birds surrounded by green grass. Now of course, there will be times weeds pop up but I need to remind myself I’m armed with weed remover and push on.
Here are pictures of some of my weed removers….